There's a reason nobody listened to these guys...

Stephen Gosson and Phillip Stubbes are not only incredibly boring, they're also wrong.
Funny, at times, but wrong.

Then again, I'm a horrible heretic and participator in that great evil, the theater, so what do I know?
According to Stubbes, at least, that must mean I'm a sodomite, or worse:

marke the flocking and rūning to Theaters & curtens, daylie and hourely, night and daye, tyme and tyde to see Playes and Enterludes, where such wanton gestures, such bawdie speaches: such laughing and sleering: such kissing and bussing: such clipping and culling: Suche winckinge and glancinge of wanton eyes, / and the like is vsed, as is wonderfull to behold. Than these goodly pageants being done, euery mate sorts to his mate, euery one bringes another homeward of their way verye freendly, and in their secret conclaues (couertly) they play y^e Sodomits, or worse. (Anatomie of Abuses)

Lucky me.